Why many Professional Athletes cheat, and
cheat violently
Well, here it is; the most sought after
answer to the question of the ages.
“They
cheat because most of them should not be married in the first place.”
Is there anyone else who didn’t
see that answer coming? Very simple, many of these guys are just simply not
ready for marriage with the type of testosterone-laden sex drives their
profession affords them. And so they cheat and it is America’s fault that they
cheat, and here is why;
Let’s
just calm down and take a deep breath to look at what and who these athletes
truly are, and more importantly what we as a society have made them.
Oh
yeah, you didn’t think you would get away without having any hand in this did
you?
Oh
yes, for every man woman and child who have paid for a sports event, any sports
event we have made these men and women who they are.
We have created the
climate.
So
first off let’s look at what we are really talking about. Know that I have long
been an advocate of women’s rights and their protection. As the oldest son, my
own mother was a victim of Domestic Violence back in the 1960s, well before
there were agencies put in place to help such women. My mother took me and my
three other siblings and moved 732 miles away from my father to go live with
her parents. My mother NEVER went back and this I believe as key to my father’s
healing, as he eventually remarried, and was a far better husband that second
time around from suffering that loss. He told me personally before he died of
cancer that he always regretted his actions, and losing his family. Men have no
way of knowing how to be a good father or husband, by our nature as men we do not
learn like women, we learn mostly by trial and error. We get the best lessons
from our losses. When we lose something we learn not to go down that same road again,
it’s as simple as that. We also learn what we value. We place value in things
by how hard it was to acquire the thing or person. So it is true in relationships;
if a woman chases him or makes it too easy for him, she has little value in his
mentality of her worth. So with all the work groupies put into chasing athletes
and entertainers, the poor women never have a chance at being the true APPLE of
his eye.
MEN MUST CHASE! It’s how we are wired.
There
is no way to get around it, these glorified sports figures and heroes are
really modern-day Gladiators. Despite all the high-tech glitz, computer-generated graphics and animation, life-long statistics available at the push of
a button, these guys and gals are all just modern-day Roman Gladiators. I think
it is important that you know here and now that I am not nor have I ever been a
sports fan. I do not go to the events, watch them on television, subscribe or
follow them. The only time I ever have any direct involvement in it at all was
during the time my son participated in school, or one of my business partners
makes the event a part of a business deal or function.
So
please do not get the idea that I am in any ways defending what these or any
other married man does, even if he is an athlete, but I understand. I will
clearly, state facts derived from both history and the human males biological
and psychological make-up.
So
let’s look at the life of a Gladiator of old for the similarities.
A
gladiator usually started off as a slave. The best depiction of this life was
in the novel “The Gladiator” a very good book by Alan Baker.
But
for our purpose here we will merely skim the surface of this demanding life.
There
are four or five different stages of the Gladiator’s life depending on the
source and how you interpret the stages of Apprentice/Gladiator. Some say there
is only the Gladiator stage, while other’s recognize this training as a stage
as well.
As a SLAVE the man was
usually leftover from a pillaged township or casualty of war where he was not
hurt too badly. In this case, he was sent off to become a fighter gladiator. I
will not go into great detail of all the other jobs in and around the arena
where they trained. For the purposes of this example, we are talking about a man
who has proven to have the mettle to be a fighter.
As an APPRENTICE he
would train very similar to the way our military and football camps train
today. These men knew only days of pain and pushing themselves harder than they
did on the previous day. The only difference was they worked with sharp
objects, many, sharp objects.
As a fully functioning GLADIATOR, his
bouts are now to the death in many cases. His name is now being written and
passed along on the programs of which he participates. All of Rome who is
literate and of any means now knows his name as well. Like a prized mare, he is
cared for and pampered for the thrills, entertainment, and of course, the money
he now brings. While still in his prime he would be brought before women of all
types to gear children in hopes of rearing yet another prodigy of death. There
are even cases when the fighters of the best prowess are brought before the
Emperor, or the Emperor has been known to make a visit to the very stables if
the fighter was great enough.
It is here that he becomes a HERO and even the
Emperors of those days recognized the power of a man adored. So the cozying up
to the hero gladiator was also a very smart political ploy as well.
Capitalizing off the fame and notoriety of the most popular gladiator of the
day was the norm. In bolstering the Emperor, these men also bolstered their
livelihood.
From this stage, if they were
extremely lucky and survived that arena which is rare, he graduated from the hero
and became a CITIZEN of Rome. In this capacity, he could be employed at training
younger gladiators, while taking part in all citizen privileges.
It is in this capacity where we
find our sports heroes of the day. There are no longer the categories of a slave,
and citizenship doesn’t have to be won. So today we have all the segments of
Apprentice, Gladiator, Hero, all rolled up into one. We have covered up the
unattractive portions of today’s sports, and even sugar-coated much of the
seedy happenings like gambling by pretending it is a rare occurrence whenever
it comes to light.
So here we have today the very
same dynamic in place that existed some two thousand years ago with men being
almost bred in some cases to be superstars. We cheer them on only after they
have been recognized. Lord only knows what their lives were like when they were
unknowns. One can only guess at what the demanding parent was like in some
cases. The pressure to perform no matter what is constant and insatiable. We
ask of them to outperform not only others but themselves each and every year.
The only way for them to do that is to resort to sport-enhancement drugs and
pain killers. And of course when the inevitable happens, the crash, we don’t
give a sympathetic ear, instead we, their fans bash them more for being caught.
We give little care to what they did to be on top, we only care that they are
on top.
In our own pathetic attempt to
escape our own dreary little lives we have lived through these Gladiators. We
sit on the couch and live through their lives instead of getting off the said couch
and doing our own sit-ups and push-ups. I mentioned earlier that these men
should not be married, and I meant it. Look at what we do to them. Understand,
these are not just men, they are EXTRAORDINARY men, and in every sense
of the word. They have developed a lifestyle of; well Nike says it best,
“Just doing it.”
Anyone having a modicum understanding
of what testosterone does to a man understands that not only does he need more
food, more physical exertion, and yes, more ways to release said tensions and
stress that accompany this life. These are very extraordinary human beings. Yet
what we do to them in America is heinous. Just as we live through them and
their actions, we, in turn, expect them to look, live, and love like us couch
potatoes.
BUZZZZZZ!
WRONG ANSWER!
Very wrong answer.
We put them in business suits
and ties, fashion them in exotic cars and bring them to board meetings, all the
while they are dreaming of doing what they do best, being in the action. It is
a part of their DNA just as our hair color is. There is no turning back now. It
is said that a healthy man thinks about sex every half hour in the prime of his
life. If this is so, then imagine what kind of sex and how much of it these
supercharged individuals think of? Don’t believe me?
Read what the experts say!
As I said in the beginning, I am
not condoning or defending these individuals, only explaining what is
happening. You see the owners and older men all expect a certain amount of
decorum and propriety from these athletes, but that is based on their current
physical condition and psychological state of being, not the athletes’. There
may also be a bit of self-preservation at work from the older executives and
coaches as if this gets too widespread what will their wives think they are all
doing out on the road.
The reason I said many of them should not be married I meant at that time. In my own personal opinion, no athlete
should ever get married until they are about to retire, or HAVE retired. In
this day and age, I also put most of the blame on the women who marry such men.
Come on now, come on. Who is surprised in this day, age when they hear of
sports and entertainers having extra-marital affairs or domestic violence?
Unless you have been living under a rock the answer is no one. What is clearly
happening is that we are placing very confining restrictions on very extraordinary
persons. What needs to happen is that a very clear and concise understanding
needs to be imparted to these women about these colossal men they want to
marry. They need to understand that a man used to living and fulfilling the
sexual drive of a gladiator, cannot, and will not, be subdued with a
“Suzie-Homemaker.” Sadly even these men will also need to made aware of this.
Americans try too hard to push these individuals into these molds not
because they are what all Americans believe or subscribe to, but because it is
what makes us at home feel comfortable as Americans. Everyone knows now the
infidelity with these individuals is not about sex or love, no not at all. It’s
about a man, the man being acknowledged as such, as the man. This can
manifest in various ways as we discussed in earlier chapters of the book.
If you didn’t know it before,
you know it now. If you take away a man’s peace of mind you may as well not
have him at all.
Believe me; he will go where
ever he can to find it, the local pub, his buddies, a video game, or another
woman. This is why the world’s oldest profession is still around and will
remain so. When the man pays for those services he gets what he wants. Due to
the women who work in the profession, they have known enough men to know when they
like to be left alone. Men are mostly solitary beings who really like alone
time and only come together for the time they are ready to start a family.
When we push men into family situations when they are not ready we will always
have infidelity. Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of good men out there and
even greater fathers, but that is only when they are ready, and
for men, that’s usually only when they have sufficient motivation.
So here we are at yet another
level of understanding that really should be the woman’s responsibility to
understand that these extraordinary men cannot be contained sooner than they
are ready. Yes, on the outside they look like the perfect providers. Well, and
a serial killer who is a millionaire would look like a perfect provider from
the outside looking in as well. And yes, there is no sign written across the
forehead of these men telling the world who they really are. So what’s the
secret? The only tried and true way to tell is the way our forefathers did. A
very long courting phase, a courting phase without sex. If he cannot
wait for you without sex, then he is not ready for marriage.
See, I
told you it was simple.
-The Escape-
Home is a place we will visit a
lot in this book. Most people in the United States have one. We are not
talking about just folk who pay a mortgage, but folk in mansions, prisons,
cardboard boxes, apartments. Wherever we lay our heads to sleep is home
regardless of what its exterior looks like. This is the place where we are
comfortable, where we let our hair down. Ladies, women, wives, mothers, if you
take anything away from this book at all know this, a man views home
differently than how you view home. We will not delve into that
difference in as much as the most vital of those differences, their affect. For
a man, a home is where he can be himself and his environment in some way is a
reflection of him, as well as his wife. For most women, the home is a place to
be shown as well as lived in. It is comfortable, but in many cases only to her
standards. Very rarely do we find a home where the wife realizes her husband
needs space and leaves that space to him. But this is not just physical space
we are referring to, the intangible part of the home, the emotional part is
vital as well, and the most overlooked. If this dynamic, this principle is
usurped, he will not be comfortable or at ease in his own home. We are not
saying men should be bullies and defend their territory. We are saying both
parties must realize what the home represents to all who live in it. In
situations of severe hoarding, we see this dynamic gone awry if it is not held
in check.
This can only be done through
continued communication. Men need to detox from their day. I repeat, men need
to detox from their day. When they arrive home from work, they at least an hour
to themselves ladies. We know you are tired too, but men need to be alone.
There is something our make-up that spurs this. Maybe from our ancient hunting
parties and forays into the wild chasing game. Whatever the reason leaves us be.
Any woman who had a relationship with a man where she occupies much of his
time, (living together) you know that after a while it takes longer for him to
get home from work. This is not solely to get away from you but to capture his
lost detox time. Hard-wired into men is the head of the household mode. It is the
basis of his role in his home. If you are a single woman, and you allow a man
into your home and then, then, you want to question the methodology of
his style of leadership? Hello, it's too late then. So prevalent is this
leadership mode that if you have a young son as a single mother then know that
his male-ship (the only male in the home) gives him
leadership authority. Now, just as child-kings must learn in country’s with the monarchy, this role must be assumed responsibly. I have met many single mothers
who for whatever misplaced reason, (guilt over being a single mother,
misplaced love over the now-absent father) has allowed mom to shower the
boy with the love reserved for his father, her lover.
This combination of false
rationale and guilt creates a monster of a man-child, who for lack of better
terminology becomes a societal misfit. He cannot solve his problems, and
usually will always depend on others, (usually women) to forever play his
mother's role in his life. Now the only problem with this is, if the woman that
eventually hooks up with him is unaware of his past, or cannot read the signs,
(usually most young women can’t) then she is doomed to be connected to
or have a child by this boy with facial hair. This is the problem that strikes
at the heart of our society, women, and men improperly prepared for serious
relationships. This also happens to be the nexus of this entire book. That in
human relationships, it is the woman, who opens the door to the relationship.
She, and not the man is responsible for her choice in choosing that man. If she
chooses him based on shallow choices, then she deserves what she gets. In the
end, the problem in America is its misplaced notion that the woman for whatever
reason is totally EXCUSED in her part, her responsibility in her relationship
choices. American has long taught women that they can assume ANY role in our
society and be absolved of any responsibility in the aftermath. This is tantamount
to Americans teaching Lions on the African Savannah not to attack and eat
lambs, instead of teaching the lambs what a Lion looks like and to stay away
from them. America wants to de-fang all the dangers in the jungle, INSTEAD of
teaching new-comers into the jungle to be wary. Why is this? Because America is
all about misplaced liberties these days, and heaven forbid we take away anyone’s
liberty by having them be responsible for their actions, no matter how irresponsible
those actions are. How about teaching young women what abusers look like as the
mothers of old used to do. Teach them the clear signs that are always present
during the early stages of dating so they can avoid the relationship BEFORE she
has sex with him. In short, we have to re-teach women they cannot ACT like men
in relationships, as this is what gets them TREATED like men.
Until
America wakes up and truly wants to tackle the problem, by properly educating
BOTH parties of their responsibility, until then we will only deal with this
painful subject AFTER the victims has already been made.
